After attending my first women’s conference as a vendor, I have to tell you all about it.

To be honest, I am in a season where I am intimidated by new ventures. When the opportunity arose for me to be a vendor at The Healing Seat event, I dove in feet first. I never want to pass up an opportunity that is aligned with my niche and metron of serving women, especially women of color.

However, I want to be transparent in sharing that, after looking at the panelists’ and curator’s résumés, I was afraid. There was also a learning curve because I had never been a vendor before. I learned three lessons as I prepared for and attended the event.

1. Social Comparison

I really believed that I would be out of my element doing this event. Here is where the imposter syndrome kicked in. I overprepared. I had so much stuff, including my journals, table props, and freebies, that I could not put everything on the table.

The perfectionist kicked in, and although I know there is no such thing as perfection, I attempted to make my table perfect.

The morning I set up, I watched one lady blow up balloons and another pull out well-polished banners and books for her vendor table. Social comparison came into play when I asked the curator’s mom, “How does my table look?” and then braced myself for the critique.

I was totally surprised when she said, “It looks good.”

That day, I received so many compliments from other vendors, panelists, and attendees. I learned that this was several women’s first time as vendors, too, and they had a learning curve just as I did. There was no need to compare.

2. Stay Ready So You Don’t Have to Get Ready

I got a nudge from God to work on my businesses (I am also a genealogist) before the vendor opportunity became available. I had interest in participating in a fair in East Texas, where my maternal roots are.

I have dozens of journals and books lying dormant in files on various platforms that I have not self-published yet. I also have just as many creative ideas—bookmarks, shirts, and other paraphernalia—written in composition notebooks, waiting to get off the page and into reality.

So, I found myself doing so much during the last month leading up to the event. What I learned is that, in order to stay sane, I need to do a little bit every month so I am not ordering books, banners, and promotional items at the last minute.

3. Show Up and Be Present

If I had continued comparing myself during the event and wondering if my table was good enough, I would have missed out on some wonderful opportunities to glean from the women in the room.

There were so many moving parts and people that I could have missed the very purpose of the event—to experience faith and fellowship in a safe and healing environment.

As the panelists shared their testimonies and the attendees asked questions, I could see that my narrative and life story paralleled theirs. I learned to take a deep breath and sit back to enjoy the scenery and the gift before me—life experiences, love, and compassion.

I met so many women and networked throughout this conference. Although I did not sell as many journals as I had hoped, I experienced something much greater and priceless…connection and true healing.

Yes, I ugly cried at one point, overwhelmed with gratitude and relief after accomplishing my first event.

Healing does not happen in isolation. We were designed by God to be interdependent. As my coach and mentor, Dr. Dharius Daniels, often says, “You can’t be your best self by yourself.”

Don’t do it alone. Reach out today to Nekeshia c/o Meraki Counseling at 832-779-3039 or merakicounseling@outlook.com, and let me walk with you on your journey of self-discovery.