Tag Archives: self-discovery

Who Has a Seat on Your Life Board™?

You have people around you, but are they the right people? It’s easy to let life get you wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of things. Before you know it, you have 700 friends on social media and don’t really know 100 of them. True story! Some of us may have even been filling seats just so they won’t be empty.

My mentor and coach, Dr. Dharius Daniels, often says something that is so essential when it comes to relationships: “Access is a privilege, not a right. It’s earned, not owed. Don’t allow people to mismanage their access to you.”

3 Questions to Ask Before Giving Someone Access to Your Life:

Are they aligned with my values? Examine whether their character, priorities, and behaviors support the life you’re intentionally building.

Now that you are well-versed in the seven different members you should have on your Life Board™, it’s time to hone in on the assessment of values. It is true: birds of a feather flock together. I have been able to sit on a dock of the Mississippi River in Louisiana and just observe the wildlife. What I find very interesting is how, if one bird flies in a certain direction, all the others do the same. I know we are not talking about wildlife, but we are talking about human nature. It is quite common to begin to do and say the same things as the persons you spend the most time with.

Is the relationship reciprocal? Consider whether support, encouragement, and effort flow in both directions.

Most people have been in a lopsided relationship at some point in their lives. It doesn’t feel good at all to end up being the person who carries a relationship. Don’t get me wrong; I know that relationships are never really 50/50 or equal parts. The thing is, it is important for people you are in relationships with to have a two-way dynamic. Other relationships, like assignments, may be imbalanced, but vital relationships, like those with Life Board™ members, should be interdependent and mutual in nature.

Does their presence contribute to my growth? Reflect on whether the relationship encourages confidence, accountability, emotional wellness, or joy.

To get to a season in life where you are intentional about growth and notice you have people around you who are nonchalant about seeing you grow is not good. Some people whom I see in the limelight in politics, government, and entertainment, I think, can’t have any friends or people. Living in a world where “yes men” come a dime a dozen, it is important to evaluate if those around you really help to catapult you to the next level and to the next level.

Now, I have a question for you: Who have you given access to your life, and have they earned the privilege of occupying that seat? Remember, having people around you is not the same as having the right people around you. Be intentional about who you allow to sit on your Life Board™ because the people you surround yourself with can influence the direction of your life.

If you need help assessing your relationships or designing your personal Life Board™, don’t hesitate to reach out to Nekeshia c/o Meraki Counseling at 832-779-3039 or merakicounseling@outlook.com.

The Life Board™: A Guided Journal to Reflect on the People Who Anchor, Affirm, and Align You is also available if you prefer a self-guided approach to identifying the people you need to build community and live a flourishing life.

The Wellness Partner – Caring for the Whole Self

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Oftentimes, this member, The Wellness Partner, is overlooked when it comes to designing your personal Life Board™ of Directors. It is essential to make sure those around you are living a healthy lifestyle. You may think it is inconsequential, but it is crucial to living a flourishing life. How, do you ask?

Here are 3 ways The Wellness Partner helps you care for the whole self:

1. They encourage healthy habits.

They motivate you to prioritize your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being through healthy lifestyle choices.

If I am a speaker, but I am binging on sweets and alcohol while speaking across the globe, then I may feel energized at the beginning of the speaking engagement but crash soon thereafter. Or, if the speaker is mentally unwell, those who invited them to the event or even the audience may notice that something is off.

How this person helps you in this area is by encouraging you to increase healthy habits in your lifestyle.

2. They support balance and self-care.

They recognize when you are overwhelmed and encourage you to establish boundaries, rest, and make time for yourself.

Have you ever been around a person who looks tired or becomes irritated easily during neutral situations? More than likely, they lack balance and self-care. This member may help you see that balance is needed to be successful.

A well-rested person is able to make better and wiser decisions. They mention things like having capacity and realizing when you don’t have the capacity to deal with certain situations or family members at certain times.

3. They promote holistic growth.

They hold you accountable for nurturing every aspect of your well-being and encourage you to build a life that is healthy, balanced, and flourishing.

The accountability piece is always a big factor in us achieving our goals in life. If an idea or goal is kept to yourself, you can always hit that snooze button on the clock of success.

This member won’t let you set the alarm for every five minutes until you decide to get up to tackle your goals. They will call you out and challenge you to get up the first time that alarm goes off.

Now, I have a question for you: Who is The Wellness Partner in your life? Who encourages you to take care of yourself, reminds you to rest when necessary, and challenges you to develop healthy habits?

Remember, building a flourishing life requires more than setting goals. It requires surrounding yourself with people who support your overall well-being. Be intentional about who sits on your Life Board™.

If you need help identifying your Wellness Partner or designing your personal Life Board™, don’t hesitate to reach out to Nekeshia c/o Meraki Counseling at 832-779-3039 or merakicounseling@outlook.com.

The Life Board™: A Guided Journal to Reflect on the People Who Anchor, Affirm, and Align You is also available if you prefer a self-guided approach to building your community with intention.

The Cheerleader- Encouragement in Action

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Ever since I was a little girl, I was reminded of who I am by a special person in my life—my mother. I knew if no one else believed in me, my mom, Vivian, did. In fact, my mom has been such a cheerleader for me that I often joked that if I told my mom I was going to the moon, she would say that I could and buy me items for outer space. My mother has always been my biggest cheerleader.

Now I have to ask you a question: Who is the cheerleader in your life? If you are searching your mind to identify who that person is, let me help you by giving you some qualities to look for. Here are 3 qualities The Cheerleader should have:

They affirm you

Your cheerleader is a living affirmation. They offer you praise without hesitation, complimenting you on the progress you are making. They boost your confidence when you dare to doubt your ability to shine. They stand by you as you step outside your comfort zone, experiencing a life that is thriving. The cheerleader in your life rubber-stamps and validates your strengths without shame, telling you, “You’ve got this!!”

They celebrate you

Your cheerleader not only roots for you but will be the loudest one proclaiming that you won. This form of recognition is encouragement in action. The action may look like taking you out to eat, throwing you a party, or giving you a call, commemorating and rejoicing in your accomplishments, big and small. I have a peer from a coaching group named Alicia who not only celebrates my accomplishments but called me excited when I shared that my son graduated from grad school. That blew my mind—that a person not only rejoiced at my successes but also at the successes of someone I cherish and love.

They remind you of who you are

Your cheerleader reminds you of who you are. Sometimes this world serves you blows that make it hard to see how far you have come. This person honors and helps you recall your résumé. They won’t let you forget that triumph you had when you were the underdog or when others doubted your success. They remind you of what you are called to do and your purpose on this planet. Your cheerleader awakens memories to help you recall your accolades.

As I have said while introducing the concept of a Life Board™, your next breakthrough isn’t a better mindset but better people. We all need community to be our best selves. I hope this article helps you realize that you have to be intentional about designing a team that helps propel you to a flourishing life.

If you need help with designing your Life Board™, don’t hesitate to reach out to Nekeshia c/o Meraki Counseling at 832-779-3039 or merakicounseling@outlook.com. The Life Board™: A Guided Journal to Reflect on the People Who Anchor, Affirm, and Align You is also available to help you identify the people needed for success in life.

The Peer – Growing Together

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I mentioned in the last post that the focus is shifting from building confidence to building community. The first area of focus is on peer connections.

I want to clarify what a peer is first. If you are like me, I thought a peer was synonymous with a friend, but boy, was I wrong. A peer is someone who is your equal in age, rank, or status (such as a classmate or coworker), while a friend is someone you know, like, and trust through a personal bond. While a friend can be a peer, many peers are strangers or colleagues rather than friends. I think it is important to clarify the distinction to avoid heartache and unrealistic expectations.

Now, let’s talk about why a peer/friend is important when building your community with intention. More importantly, I want to coach you on what qualities to look for when deciphering who is a peer/friend worth building a connection with:

Honesty: They speak truthfully and openly, even when the truth is hard to hear.

Loyalty: They stay committed and dependable, standing by you through good times and hard times.

Trustworthiness: They protect your confidence and act with your best interests at heart.

Dependability: They are reliable and consistent, showing up when they say they will.

Supportiveness: They encourage, assist, and comfort you through both successes and challenges.

No matter what you choose to call that person, the bottom line is being strategic about filling this role. I want to leave you with a quote that my mentor and coach says very often:

“You don’t go as far as your dream. You go as far as your team.” — Dr. Dharius Daniels

If you need help deciphering who is on your Life Board, don’t hesitate to reach out to Nekeshia c/o Meraki Counseling at 832-779-3039 or merakicounseling@outlook.com.

Also, if your desire is to design your Life Board but you wish to explore this topic more independently, check out my guided journal, Life Board: A Guided Journal to Reflect on the People Who Anchor, Affirm, and Align You.

Your Next Breakthrough Isn’t a Better Mindset—It’s Better People

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During this quarter, we are going to switch things up a little. Over the past year or so, the focus has been on imposter syndrome. Well, now we will venture into another area of focus that is just as consequential outside of believing in yourself—your community.

I have learned how valuable community is in living a successful life. As my mentor and coach says very often, “You cannot be your best self by yourself.” Not one lie told!

The reason that I have been able to write—not only this blog, but in different areas—and fulfill my dreams lately is because God has granted me favor in meeting people who, in some form or fashion, have helped support me.

There are certain roles that have been instrumental in helping me change the trajectory of my life. Those seven roles are:

Peer – Someone who grows alongside you, shares the journey, and sharpens you through mutual support.

Mentor – Someone who has gone before you and offers wisdom, guidance, and perspective for your next steps.

Cheerleader – Someone who believes in you, celebrates your wins, and reminds you of your strengths when you forget.

Accountability Partner – Someone who lovingly challenges you to honor your commitments and become your best self.

Values Twin – Someone whose character and core values align with yours, helping you stay true to your purpose.

Wellness Partner – Someone who encourages you to care for your mind, body, and spirit so you can thrive.

Leisure Companion – Someone who reminds you to laugh, rest, play, and enjoy the journey of life.

As you read, don’t be disheartened if there are gaps in your essential community members, or what I call your Life Board members. I found that I had a lot of gaps, but I am now reassured because I have a framework to be intentional about building my Life Board.

If you are interested in creating the kind of community that will help you finish these last two quarters of the year successfully, call Nekeshia Limuel, LPC at 832-779-3039 or email merakicounseling@outlook.com. I look forward to hearing from you.