You have people around you, but are they the right people? It’s easy to let life get you wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of things. Before you know it, you have 700 friends on social media and don’t really know 100 of them. True story! Some of us may have even been filling seats just so they won’t be empty.

My mentor and coach, Dr. Dharius Daniels, often says something that is so essential when it comes to relationships: “Access is a privilege, not a right. It’s earned, not owed. Don’t allow people to mismanage their access to you.”

3 Questions to Ask Before Giving Someone Access to Your Life:

Are they aligned with my values? Examine whether their character, priorities, and behaviors support the life you’re intentionally building.

Now that you are well-versed in the seven different members you should have on your Life Board™, it’s time to hone in on the assessment of values. It is true: birds of a feather flock together. I have been able to sit on a dock of the Mississippi River in Louisiana and just observe the wildlife. What I find very interesting is how, if one bird flies in a certain direction, all the others do the same. I know we are not talking about wildlife, but we are talking about human nature. It is quite common to begin to do and say the same things as the persons you spend the most time with.

Is the relationship reciprocal? Consider whether support, encouragement, and effort flow in both directions.

Most people have been in a lopsided relationship at some point in their lives. It doesn’t feel good at all to end up being the person who carries a relationship. Don’t get me wrong; I know that relationships are never really 50/50 or equal parts. The thing is, it is important for people you are in relationships with to have a two-way dynamic. Other relationships, like assignments, may be imbalanced, but vital relationships, like those with Life Board™ members, should be interdependent and mutual in nature.

Does their presence contribute to my growth? Reflect on whether the relationship encourages confidence, accountability, emotional wellness, or joy.

To get to a season in life where you are intentional about growth and notice you have people around you who are nonchalant about seeing you grow is not good. Some people whom I see in the limelight in politics, government, and entertainment, I think, can’t have any friends or people. Living in a world where “yes men” come a dime a dozen, it is important to evaluate if those around you really help to catapult you to the next level and to the next level.

Now, I have a question for you: Who have you given access to your life, and have they earned the privilege of occupying that seat? Remember, having people around you is not the same as having the right people around you. Be intentional about who you allow to sit on your Life Board™ because the people you surround yourself with can influence the direction of your life.

If you need help assessing your relationships or designing your personal Life Board™, don’t hesitate to reach out to Nekeshia c/o Meraki Counseling at 832-779-3039 or merakicounseling@outlook.com.

The Life Board™: A Guided Journal to Reflect on the People Who Anchor, Affirm, and Align You is also available if you prefer a self-guided approach to identifying the people you need to build community and live a flourishing life.