Tag Archives: mindset

Imposter Syndrome Unfolded in Real Time

As I prepare to embark upon a new adventure as a vendor at a women’s conference, it has become evident how imposter syndrome creeps up behind you.

The perfectionist type has definitely been my shadow for the last few weeks since I signed up to be a vendor. To be candid, I really just thought about attending the event, The Healing Seat, in July. Never did I imagine being a vendor.

I searched Pinterest and YouTube for suggestions for vendors at fairs and trade shows. I even asked ChatGPT to do a mockup image for my table setup. Many trips back and forth to stores and playing with designs on Canva have become a habit for me as I prepare.

I had to stop myself after setting up my table at home, rearranging items on the table, packing everything up, only to bring it back out again to make sure I had the best setup. Not to mention, I broke a glass item that I got from an antique shop in East Texas that is not readily available.

What this experience has taught me is that I, too, suffer with imposter syndrome. The second-guessing and overpreparing were the symptoms that became prevalent while getting ready. I had to take a step back—literally—after stepping on glass that would not have broken if I hadn’t been ruminating over a polished and perfect table that would invite and attract women to my corner.

I had to speak to myself the same way I speak to my clients:

You’ve got this.

You deserve to be in the room.

You were built for this.

This is your calling.

You are talented.

If you have discovered that nasty monster of imposter syndrome lurking in the background, don’t fight it alone. Reach out to Meraki Counseling today for assistance in building your confidence.

Imposter Syndrome in the Context of Dating

Common Signs

Hyper-focus on flaws: Being able to point out all of your character and physical flaws is common when navigating the dating scene. We definitely don’t want potential mates to find out about our imperfections because they won’t want to deal with us.

Expecting the worst: It is a trick of the mind to brace for potential bad outcomes, especially after kissing so many frogs. Some people have experienced catfishing to the extreme of becoming involved with someone who is living a double life. Now, with the internet, we can see the worst examples from all across the world.

Attributing affection to a quirk: You may feel that someone showing interest in you will eventually lose interest and that their attraction is due to luck or chance. I mean, what would a fine man like that want with a woman like me? You convince yourself that it must be a fluke rather than believing you are genuinely worthy of love and connection.

Why It Happens

Online dating pressures: Apps can pressure you to present a flawless, curated version of yourself, leading to constant comparison and feelings of inadequacy. Now add the layer of AI and photoshopped images, and you can easily hyper-focus on the areas that the opposite sex is typically drawn to.

Past trauma: Trauma trains the brain to stay on alert and anticipate threats. Depending on your experiences, things may have happened that were far outside of what you envisioned for your life. As a result, you may struggle to trust yourself.

Insecure attachment: Depending on your childhood experiences and the people who cared for you during your formative years, certain patterns can develop and carry into adulthood. Anxious and avoidant attachment styles frequently correlate with feelings of unworthiness.

Does any of the above resonate with you when it comes to dating?

If you answered yes, then you may benefit from talking with an objective professional who can help you navigate the murky waters of dating.

Contact Nekeshia Limuel at Meraki Counseling today to begin uncovering the layers of dating with imposter syndrome.

📞 832-779-3039
📧 merakicounseling@outlook.com

Understanding Why Imposter Syndrome Leaves You Feeling Paralyzed

Have you ever wondered why you feel stuck or paralyzed while dealing with Imposter Syndrome? If you have been following this page for a while, you probably have seen yourself throughout the posts.

Something that I have seen in the lives of so many of my clients is being paralyzed, which keeps them from achieving their goals and living a life that is flourishing. Heck, I’ve even seen this in myself over decades. I started working with a coach, Shalonda Allison, who helped me realize something. The concept that Coach Shalonda revealed to me was the perfect procrastinator. Let me tell you how it shows up in high achievers, specifically myself.

I have a pattern of starting projects but not executing. Why, you may ask? The answer is simple and plain. Something deep inside of me says, “It’s not ready yet. It needs a few more tweaks.” Or I may tell myself, when it comes to building my social life and circle, “I’m not ready to be in a relationship.” This would lead to discounting the hours of education, training, and life experiences I have from 50 years of living.

The truth is I am, and every project I have started is ready to go, but I believe the voices of Imposter Syndrome over being prepared to launch and go. After becoming aware of my patterns through coaching, I made a commitment to myself that I would not start “nan” other project without executing and finishing the plethora of projects living rent-free in my space. Mind you, I have decades of notes in composition notebooks, outlines and book covers for books, and AI chats of formats for groups and programs that would increase and diversify my income.

I have also committed socially to engage with others in an intentional way. No more sitting on my couch watching Netflix when I have been invited to get out and socialize. I even took this commitment a step further by not waiting on anyone to invite me out to socialize. I will create opportunities to realize my goals.

I share my story in an effort for you to see what imposter syndrome looks like in real time. I am a work in progress, and I will continue to do the work so I can be the best counselor and coach delivering services to you. I pray that this article blesses you and helps you realize you do not have to journey alone on this road of self-discovery and overcoming Imposter Syndrome.

Contact me, Nekeshia c/o Meraki Counseling, today at 832-779-3039 or merakicounseling@outlook.com. A thriving life awaits you.