Common Signs

Hyper-focus on flaws: Being able to point out all of your character and physical flaws is common when navigating the dating scene. We definitely don’t want potential mates to find out about our imperfections because they won’t want to deal with us.

Expecting the worst: It is a trick of the mind to brace for potential bad outcomes, especially after kissing so many frogs. Some people have experienced catfishing to the extreme of becoming involved with someone who is living a double life. Now, with the internet, we can see the worst examples from all across the world.

Attributing affection to a quirk: You may feel that someone showing interest in you will eventually lose interest and that their attraction is due to luck or chance. I mean, what would a fine man like that want with a woman like me? You convince yourself that it must be a fluke rather than believing you are genuinely worthy of love and connection.

Why It Happens

Online dating pressures: Apps can pressure you to present a flawless, curated version of yourself, leading to constant comparison and feelings of inadequacy. Now add the layer of AI and photoshopped images, and you can easily hyper-focus on the areas that the opposite sex is typically drawn to.

Past trauma: Trauma trains the brain to stay on alert and anticipate threats. Depending on your experiences, things may have happened that were far outside of what you envisioned for your life. As a result, you may struggle to trust yourself.

Insecure attachment: Depending on your childhood experiences and the people who cared for you during your formative years, certain patterns can develop and carry into adulthood. Anxious and avoidant attachment styles frequently correlate with feelings of unworthiness.

Does any of the above resonate with you when it comes to dating?

If you answered yes, then you may benefit from talking with an objective professional who can help you navigate the murky waters of dating.

Contact Nekeshia Limuel at Meraki Counseling today to begin uncovering the layers of dating with imposter syndrome.

📞 832-779-3039
📧 merakicounseling@outlook.com