When Good Parents Doubt Themselves

Introduction

Being a parent can be both rewarding and challenging. For those of us who experience imposter syndrome, just know it does not stop in the career realm but shows up where you lay your head—the home. This article will show you how it manifests in your world of parenting.

1. The Comparison Trap

It is very common to play the comparison game. We compare our bodies, success levels, and material possessions, but it does not stop there. We compare how our children are doing in school and whether they are reaching milestones. Imposter syndrome creeps in even more often now with the introduction of social media. We no longer have to wait on a letter or phone call to hear a parent dote on their child. The trap comes from looking at a reel versus what is real about other people’s children.

2. The Pressure to Be a Perfect Parent

One of the main types of imposter syndrome is the perfectionist. In the workplace, this manifests as overproducing and making sure that every project or presentation is flawless. Some parents try not to make the same mistakes their parents made, while others set their parenting bar so high that a giraffe couldn’t reach it.

I recall reading many books on parenting before I had my first child. Nothing could have ever prepared me for my child, nor the fact that I am an imperfect human being doing the best I can to raise another imperfect human being.

3. When Your Child’s Behavior Feels Like a Reflection of You

Then there is the weight of carrying what your children do—or don’t do—as a reflection of who you are as a parent. If they fail an assignment, we feel guilty because we had to work late. We lose our minds if our children get into trouble and feel ashamed. We often have a hard time separating our children’s actions from our role as parents.

If imposter syndrome is showing up in your parenting and creating feelings of shame, guilt, or failure, please don’t settle for feelings of ineptness. Give Nekeshia c/o Meraki Counseling a call at 832-779-3039 or send an email at merakicounseling@gmail.com so we can collaborate on ways to stop imposter syndrome from entering your parenting journey.