I’ve read that one’s values act as an “internal compass,” guiding one to make decisions, serving as the catalyst for our behaviors or actions, and giving us motivation to live life to the fullest. When there is an intrinsic or internal conflict within, it can make us unbalanced. For instance, if God is at the top of my values hierarchy, but my life lacks character, then my life patterns are incongruent with my top value.

Incongruence can show up with the people in your life as well. Have you heard the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together?” When that mismatch happens in relationship dynamics, it can be detrimental to your future. I have personally known people who were “just in the car” with someone who committed a crime. This made the person in the car an accessory to a crime.

That is why it is essential to surround yourself with people who are your Values Twins. Here are 3 things to consider when deciphering who your Values Twin is:

Identifying Your Core Values

There are countless assessments or ways to identify what your values are. An exercise that I have done before is writing my own obituary. It is a bit of reverse engineering. I read somewhere that the dash on an obituary is the most important thing. Not the day you were born, nor the day you die. It is the dash that is most crucial because it tells the story of what you did while on earth.

Sure, you can get a worksheet that lists countless values, but this exercise was the most vital exercise I have done to help me understand what legacy I wanted to be known for.

Surrounding Yourself with Aligned People

Remember when I used the old adage “birds of a feather” earlier in this post? Who you encircle yourself with can be a gift and a curse. I already gave an example of the shadow side of the company you keep having negative consequences. How it can be a positive thing is if the person you are around practices positivity, has healthy relationships, and sharpens you.

There is a scripture that says, “Iron sharpens iron,” that applies here. That is why it is important to have people around you with the same or similar values that you have.

Protecting Your Character and Purpose

Having a Values Twin definitely fortifies your character and purpose. Having someone with polar-end values weakens your foundation and can take you off track from achieving your goals and living a flourishing life.

Your Values Twin doesn’t have to think exactly like you, make every decision you make, or live an identical life. The important thing is having someone in your community whose core values align with the principles that matter most to you. When you are intentional about who sits on your Life Board™, you aren’t just choosing people to spend time with—you are choosing people who can influence the direction of your life.

So, ask yourself: Who in my life shares the values that I want reflected in the life I’m building?

If you need help identifying your values or deciphering who belongs on your Life Board™, don’t hesitate to reach out to Nekeshia c/o Meraki Counseling at 832-779-3039 or merakicounseling@outlook.com.

If you prefer to explore this work independently, Life Board™: A Guided Journal to Reflect on the People Who Anchor, Affirm, and Align You is also available to help you intentionally examine the people you need around you to build community and live a flourishing life.