If the year 2020 taught us anything, it definitely taught us that life is short and to expect the unexpected.

• Numbers of people have been impacted by a pandemic that came like a thief in the night. COVID19 rocked our world in the beginning of the year 2020 and continues to effect us in many ways. All over the world people have fallen ill from the pandemic and/or have died from this horrible disease. Americans are grieving loved ones who died from COVID. Life is too short to not fulfill your dreams, to stop holding grudges and experience the only life we have been given.

• No one, I repeat, no one expected a pandemic to occur. Millions of people are out of work. As of December 4, 2020, “the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. … number of unemployed persons, at 10.7 million” which leaves so many without the means to take care of essential needs (food, shelter, education and security). Most know what it is has been like to balance work and personal life (which now includes homeschooling children) while life as we know it changes in such an extreme manner. We expected the children to return to school after Spring Break but they could not do so with so many people infected from the disease. Life as we know it is will never be the same.

How do we deal with such major life issues? It is helpful to reach out to a trained professional to gain coping skills if you are feeling depressed, anxious, struggling to get along with family members (lock down forces us to spend significantly more time with those in our household) or just want to talk about all the challenges that have taken place this year. Call Meraki Counseling today 713-730-7032 so that we can work together to build up your coping skills to conquer life’s issues.

Holidays can be a stress trigger for many reasons:

Family members project expectations upon your life. Some feel like you should follow their lead in various areas like getting married, having a baby, what  you should major in or who you should be in a relationship with. Anyone of these things may place stress on you.

Material essence of holidays are stress inducing. Social media makes it even easier to see how others live and what they buy. It’s easy to get caught up in the never ending posts and before you know it you go outside your budget on spending for the holidays.
Some people have lost loved ones around the holidays and are constantly reminded year after year. Usually the phone calls and the “I was just checking on you” cease soon after your loved ones are laid to rest.

2020. Should I say more. This year beginning with a pandemic followed by economic and education delivery upheaval all while enduring racial and political tensions.  The perfect makings of a horror story.

Don’t forget to ask for help if you need it. Don’t forget to rest.  Don’t fail to live your own life. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a trained professional to process your feelings associated with or learn coping skills to get through the holidays. 

Handling grief is just not about someone in your life passing away. Sure most cases of grief is when someone is dealing with a loved one dying either unexpected or when they get older. Grief is about loss. I have seen clients deal with grief issues but struggle with the process because it is not your usual and normalized grief.

Loss of a dream

One may have thought they were on track to become a pro athlete but an injury or another life event became an obstacle of fulfilling that dream. I have seen people struggle with a music career not taking off like they thought and sink into a depression when their record/career flops. Or those that had big dreams for their children to be the next top model or become a doctor only for their child’s strong will to take over taking them in a totally unexpected and sometimes dark path. A dream deferred or dream that never happens can be a hard pill to swallow especially when people expect you to just get over it.

Loss of a relationship

Have you ever tried to get over a friend who you trusted and thought of like a family member turning on you or ending the friendship for no apparent reason? I mean you did everything together and shared things with this person that you have not shared with anyone else. Don’t think that because it wasn’t a romantic relationship that it wasn’t a significant loss or doesn’t impact you now that that person is no longer in your life. When you spend a lot of time with a person being close and sharing intimate details of your life it tends to hurt when you no longer have that confidant.

Don’t struggle alone. Find a therapist to begin processing the grief experienced for the loss. It is normal to hurt when one’s life doesn’t go as planned. It is also normal to feel pain when you lose relationships of various types when that person was a staple in your life. Talk to a trained professional who won’t judge you and creates a safe environment for you to share and finally process your grief.

I can only theorize that the consequences of impact of having a pandemic, racial tension, West Coast fires and a crazy hurricane season will have on the world.

All throughout the year I have had to hit the reset button.

1. Thought I was going to build my income by working a full time job and part time private practice. Then the pandemic hit and would no longer be needed on the full time job.
2. Anticipated with private practice psychotherapy there would be a greater need to counselors. There was. But just like I loss income so did millions of Texans (where I can legally practice and offer services) when the economy took a turn for the worst. Unemployment numbers skyrocketed and unemployment subsidy didn’t not last long.

It is okay to hit the reset button not just at the beginning of the year but on a monthly and weekly basis. Sometimes, you may have to hit the reset button on a daily basis. So what if you had a horrible day yesterday. You were blessed with another day to start anew and leave the past of yesterday’s struggle where it is.

If you tend to overthink it keeps you stagnant. You over analyze. You over plan. You over strategize. You have visualized every worse case scenario possible and then some.

Overthinking every step of….

…starting your business and the perfection it would take to make things happen will leaves you unproductive.

…dating that guy or lady has you already planning out a wedding or introducing your date to your best friend or mother.

…getting pregnant has you looking at every genetic disease on you and your mates sides’ of the family or better yet visualizing your child going to your alma mater.

It keeps you from being able to enjoy the process of becoming an entrepreneur, learning to get to know the person you are dating before determining if they are the right one and lastly, the joy of becoming pregnant or parents.

Stop robbing yourself of the here and now. Days are passing you by with overthinking.

Nekeshia Limuel, MA, LPC, LCDC

When making changes do you feel like you are going nowhere fast? Maybe you feel as if you don’t have any opportunities attractive enough to make a move. Whatever it may be, it is time to become unstuck.

Motivation

Sometimes you have to ask yourself what is my why? The one that I have learned while working or dealing with your personal life you have to have a why. The why is your motivation that keeps you going. For instance, my why for showing up at work each day (besides liking to eat) is that I feel that counseling is my calling and passion. Sessions are not a struggle at all because my why is that I feel like I am living out my purpose. My motivation/why for my personal life is that I cherish my family. I want to do whatever it takes to be able to spend as much time as possible with them. I want meaningful encounters with them as long as I have breath.

Movement

Sometimes we get stuck because (transparency) we are not taking enough action to go anywhere. It’s easy to plan or dream of what you want to do. The question that does not come so easy is …How do I get there? I know where I am and have been but the action part can be paralyzing. In order to get unstuck just start taking baby steps in the direction that you want to go. In the words of the late and great civil rights leader, “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.